Strange Things | Panic at the Office

Panic at the Office

erratic_prophet | 19 October, 2006 15:51

Ok, so technically I don't work in an office. Yet.

I know what you're thinking. "R? In an office?! Has she finally lost it?" The answer to that is: Yes. And no. I've completely lost my shit and finally come to my senses. All at once. Now you know why I've been too busy to write.

It all started back when I realized that I really hate my job. I know, everyone hates their job. Sort of, anyway. Even people who love what they do have days when they want to flip everyone off on their way out the door. But I really, really, really hate my job. To the point where I was kind of hoping to get fired. Yeah, that bad.

So I stopped for a minute and evaluated the situation. What would make me hate my job less? Well, not being locked in the "hamster wheel" as I like to call it.

(Back story: As you know, I work in Fine Jewelry. We're locked in. Really. We aren't allowed to leave unless we can find either security, a manager or someone pre-approved to enter. The counters go around in an oval shape. I often find myself pacing around and around because there's nothing else to do. Hence, hamster wheel.)

I hate it in there. There's nothing to do. No stimulation. And no one shops there. Ever. So even though my ridiculously low commission is a joke, I don't even get it because no one buys.

And did I mention that everyone seems to be leaving the store in droves? And that there are more positions open than I can beat away with a stick? And that several of them are in cosmetics? AND that cosmetics would be quite good for me since I'm a license cosmetologist? Following me? Right..

I mention to Banshee (department manager) that I'd really like to switch over and-- what do you know?-- there's a position open! But Banshee's putting me off. Is this her usual flakiness or something far more sinister?

Turns out it was far more sinister. Even though I asked for a transfer and several counter managers asked for me to be transfered to their counters, I won't get transfered. Why? Because, according to Banshee, my numbers aren't up to par. Yes, I don't sell enough. I often don't see a person near my counter all week, how can I sell anything? Should I start holding hostages? I can't even leave the area to go pee, how can I wrangle customers?

And, she complained, that I don't open enough store card accounts. Because when I do get a customer-- on those rare occasions-- they already have a store card. At least 80% of them do, anyway. And the others? Usually don't want one. Even under those circumstances, I open an account about once a month. Because I'm damned lucky.

So I got pissed. I won't get a transfer because she's a wench and due to circumstances out of my control. My knowledge and experience mean nothing in this situation. I'm stuck in the hamster wheel. Or am I?

I had to take another good hard look at myself. What I wanted to do with my life. Where was I going? My store offered me no hope of advancement. Hell, I couldn't even travel sideways much less upwards. Mom had been telling me for months to just quit already and work on my career. But I'm not the type of person who just up and leaves. So where did that leave me?

After I got over myself, I decided to apply at various medical offices as an aesthetician. Since then, I think I've had about 50 panic attacks. Putting together a list of doctors and offices brought on about 5, throwing together my resume lead to another 15, my cover letter created about another 20, then I realized I needed references so that brought on the rest.

But I did it. I made my resume. I crafted some cover letters. I sent them off to 11 different offices. I'm hoping and praying to get at least a few interviews and job offers. And, dear god, please let me work for someone nice because I'm nearly at the point where I'm ready to become a complete hermit. I'm sure there have to be some decent bosses out there somewhere. The pay is just a bonus, really.

Wish me luck, people. I'm going to need it. Particularly for those interviews. Giving witty answers to probing questions while trying to breathe deeply into a paper bag isn't my niche.

[Reply]

in closing, r. is able to find me new hot chicks to fantasize over on a regular basis. that's why i recommend her for this position.

j — 19 Oct 2006, 18:37

[Reply]

J- This is why I asked you for a character reference, you know what really matters.

Erratic Prophet — 19 Oct 2006, 19:25

[Reply]

All the best dear! Believe me I know how it is to work at a place you dont like. I like what I do but I wish I could do it elsewhere! And its horrible that the Banshee wont let you even work with other managers at other counters.

Dee — 20 Oct 2006, 13:39

[Reply]

Dee- Banshee is only nice to those she likes. She doesn't like me. But, then, I don't like her either.

Erratic Prophet — 23 Oct 2006, 16:11